Overdoing It

The exhaustion and pain from a chronic illness can be hard to explain to others, but the spoon theory has been the best description that breaks it down. I definitely feel awkward trying to tell someone about it usually when they ask to do something. I have multiples friends and families where it happens to be 3-5 times in a row that we can't make plans or have to cancel right before. It is very frustrating to cancel plans, especially when being dependable, prompt, and always having a plan were something I used to pride myself on. Now, as much as try to control my spoons or strategize, other factors always affect how many or how little I have left. My goal since my health has declined is to make sure our girls are the ones who get the most of my spoons.


Also another thing that brings on guilt for me is that people don't realize communicating is something that takes a lot of energy and can be very difficult with constant fatigue and brain fog. This article hit home about not being able to talk to people when in chronic pain. It is embarrassing that this happens and what's worse is that in the moment, I can't find words or know what or how to say what's going on. It definitely causes anxiety knowing when I'll be around a lot of people. You wouldn't think it would be, but the most difficult question is when someone asks what have you been up to. I start trying to remember yesterday, or the past week and it's like my brain goes blank. I know we've been doing activities with the girls and keeping busy, but for the life of me as soon as someone asks, I can't tell you anything and then I feel even more guilty what they must think how I raise the girls.

When I am out and about doing something or with friends and family or a special occasion, I have a tendency to push my limits just to enjoy that time as much as I can, but then pay for it later. Pay for it not just the rest of the day, or next day, but often the next whole week. I'm still struggling with boundaries of that and honestly it happened this weekend at my nephew's birthday party when thankfully my husband had to pull me aside and remind me that my family will understand I'm hurting and if I keep going, I won't be able to help him with the girls and we have so many things we need to get done.


So what do I do after I have overdone it? I try stay horizontal as much as possible (not easy to do when husband isn't with me) since we have two small children. I do have to brag on my oldest. She really does help and has with her younger sister since she was born - throwing stuff away, getting something, turning something on, etc.) Besides having to lay down I'm also connected to a heating pad and wearing my compression socks, which I am currently doing at the moment.

For the spoonies out there what is something that you do if you've overdone it?