I Am Enough

"I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know"

This post is a reminder for me, but maybe someone else needs to hear it. The last couple weeks have really been difficult on my heart. I read this article that explained how a chronic illness can affect your self esteem, and I don't think I realized just how much it has affected mine. Not only is my life a lot different than I had envisioned, but being active used to be my whole life. I thought it was my purpose and the gift God wanted me to share and inspire people with. I wasn't just an athlete all my life, but it was my passion and my dreams I had. The dreams of doing certain things with my children if I had them, and if I was able to live to old age, to continue being active and healthy to show people that they could and how beneficial it is.


The last couple years I have learned a new gift God has given me, perspective. So many experiences I have gone through have changed my perspective. I mean isn't that exactly why we go through experiences? I have learned we may not know or understand why we go through something especially how much it can change us, or the reasons for it until much later or even ever, but God does give me perspective during, to look at the positive, and what I am taking away from it right this minute. It's funny because I always looked at my overanalyzing as a very negative thing, but in reality, it has guided me through loss of a job, death, moving, traveling, infertility, and now chronic pain.


My overanalyzing lately has shown me I am enough. I am enough even if I can't play with my girls. I am enough even if I can't go out and have playdates by myself anymore. I am enough even if I can't keep up with cleaning or cooking. I am enough even if I have trouble carrying on a conversation. I am enough even if I'm not the strong independent wife I used to be. I am enough even if I can't be the one reaching out to family or friends or going to see them or doing things for them anymore. I am enough even if I have to get a disability tag and a wheelchair.


Thank you God for showing me I am enough. You have always known I am enough and you are showing me the people who love me also know that I am enough.

"You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And you say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe
Oh I believe
What You say of me I believe" - Lauren Daigle