I Still Believe

Do you know how you go down the internet rabbit hole sometimes? I've been having some difficulty since my surgery when I would try to start writing to make an update, organizing my thoughts or what I want to say, or honestly just not wanting to press publish even after I do. Well I couldn't get my laptop out fast enough to type up this post after I watched the interview below.

"Scattered words and empty thoughts

Seem to pour from my heart

I've never felt so torn before

Seems I don't know where to start

But it's now that I feel Your grace falls like rain

From every fingertip, washing away my pain

I still believe in Your faithfulness

I still believe in Your truth

I still believe in Your holy word

Even when I don't see, I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind

With promises I still seem to bear

Even when answers slowly unwind

It's my heart I see You prepare

But its now that I feel Your grace fall like rain

From every finger tip, washing away my pain"

I mean the lyrics of the song couldn't be more true. I haven't known how to tell everyone I've been having a tough time since surgery. There's still hope for the pain to get better, a month is usually the time frame. The next post will go into detail and all the specifics on my recovery, but it has been hard. My go-to is still to distract, just not talk about, or put on a brave face without being honest about how things really are or how bad they really are. I think I still fear that someone will think it means I don't have faith in God when I'm not just positive or disappoint all the people who have been praying and believing that this surgery would heal me.


It's still tough putting myself out there, but what resonated with me the first time I saw the I Still Believe preview is that it's worth it if I can help just one person. God also loves to give me little details sometimes just for me and of course when I just re-watched the movie trailer it showed the couple getting married on the beach and running through sparklers I hadn't remembered. This movie also comes out in March, 2 days after our anniversary.

As Jeremy Camp said in the interview, everyone experiences pain, but we need to share our story to show hope and how God is with us, especially during the trials. Who wants to have a watching party with me when it comes out?