I know I have written a lot of positive posts lately, but the reality is there are definitely difficult days and times too. This weekend and week has been one of them. I don't want to sugar coat it and not be honest about that. What I've noticed though is that if you allow yourself to have those crying sessions, overwhelmed feelings, and discouraged attitude, it can actually make you wake up the next morning (or few mornings when we sometimes need longer) with a new sense of purpose and perspective.
Recovering from testing that increase symptoms and an extra long drive back from Dallas because of rain, traffic, and accidents, got vertigo this weekend on top of my normal issues, had increased pain from a new treatment the urologist recommended, C had so much to do as well, and it was an all around tough couple days parenting. Today brought outlook that I needed.
This is what I texted the husband:
"You know I'm so sad it's taken so long to figure so much out, but in reality, all of what we are learning is such new stuff it's only like being researched and investigated like as I go through it. As much as I valued doctors in Charlotte and wish we had doctors here, like seriously out of the country and world, Texas (Dallas) is the best place and options for EDS, POTS, & PCS. And I couldn't have been more fortunate to have a PT (and another PT as a friend) who know their EDS, POTS, and PCS. My PT had just stumbled upon an article to back up everything we've found with me and to create a path for future patients and all the pelvic courses she teaches around the country. She said it's difficult trying to treat someone and support what she's doing without the research/evidence to back it up, and now it's finally there with the experience she's had with me."
The girls had been pushing boundaries and I ended up having to put them to bed early Sunday night because they just weren't listening. The next morning, the first thing W said when I went in their room was apologizing for not listening. We had a completely different day than the two before, and L even took an extra long nap to give me time to rest.
When I'm having an especially hard day, I know I do, but I think we put more pressure on ourselves that we need to be in a good mood and grateful. Instead, I'm going to allow myself to not be strong all the time and not have to wear a smile constantly. I'm accepting I'm going to have tough days. I'm also going to try to be better at understanding and supporting others when they have tough days.
No comments:
Post a Comment